Couples counselling isn’t just about “fixing problems”—it’s about learning to communicate better, deepen your connection, and grow both individually and together.

As a colleague and friend of mine once said, “Couples therapy works best when BOTH partners take 100% responsibility for the relationship.” I’ve always loved that.

To get the most out of the process, try to come with curiosity, not blame. The goal isn’t to win—it’s to understand. Sessions are an opportunity to explore your own triggers, unmet needs, and relational patterns. Your needs are entirely valid, and good couples therapy helps you understand how both of you can begin to meet each other’s needs in a more respectful, mutual, and attuned way.

Expect a safe space where difficult conversations can unfold gently, with support and care. We’ll go at your pace—this is your space to lead in service of yourself and the relationship.

If it’s working well, you’ll probably learn just as much—if not more—about yourself as you do about your partner. And those insights tend to ripple out into other areas of life, helping you become more grounded, more authentic, and more fulfilled.

Some helpful tools we might explore include:
– Communication strategies
– Emotional attunement techniques
– Conflict repair processes

And for those who want to dive deeper between sessions, here are a few great books:
– Fight Right
– Relationship Reset
– Nonviolent Communication
– Love’s Executioner (the author of this book, Irvin Yalom, is my idol!)

I genuinely believe in this work—my wife and I benefited immensely from couples counselling in the earlier years of our marriage.